Sometimes You Just Need a Mom Hug
(read time: 2.5 min)
I was in Iceland last week for the wedding of two of our closest friends. Another friend of ours was set to give the best man speech. In his own words, “I am terrible at public speaking, will settle for mediocre and probably bomb.”
Spoiler alert, he nailed it. But right before he was set to go on, he was a near wreck. I pulled him aside and asked him if he wanted a mom hug. He didn’t even blink, just came in for an embrace. I hugged him like I would my daughter. The kind of hug where nothing in the world matters except giving the other person a space to feel safe and loved. The kind of hug that says it’s all going to be ok, and you’re going to be ok.
YOUR BOOST
Ask for a mom hug when you need it. When I was having a rough day during my time at the museum, I never hesitated to find my friend Jill (who is not much older than me mind you), and ask for a hug. In my neighborhood, I’ve always befriended the block’s grandmother that hugged me like I was their own. And now, I’m so lucky to have my mom in Denver, and hug her every chance I get. I promise you, there is someone in your life that is a mom, and who knows exactly how a hug can transform your perspective, and will gladly pass on that unconditional magic.
THE SCIENCE
As soon as you were born, maternal touches helped you regulate your nervous system. From these mother-infant studies was born (no pun intended) an entire field of study focused entirely on social touch, including hugging. When it is safe and comfortable to do so, research tells us that a good hug helps reduce cortisol (aka the stress hormone) and increase resilience in the face of adversity.
Specifically, you have touch cells in your skin called c-tactile receptors. These nerve cells help you to feel and process slow, gentle touch, like a hug, a snuggle or an embrace. Researchers believe these cells are part of a system for understanding pleasant, social touch, and help to process emotion and strengthen bonds between two people.
TAKE HOME
Hugs are an age-old and universal way to communicate emotion, and help to regulate emotions by decreasing stress and increasing resilience. When you need a hug, and have a safe person to seek out, do it and ask for a hug. And if a hug isn't possible, like during times a COVID were, new research shows that self-soothing touch, including placing your hand over your heart while you breathe in and out, can lead to similar results.
No shame, no guilt, just more good days,
Nicole