When Things Don’t Go as Planned

(read time: 1.5 min)

The Japanese have a way when it comes to language, and the word Shoganai (しょうがない) is no exception. And I needed some shoganai this week.

YOUR BOOST

When all hell breaks loose, and it will, breathe in shoganai, acceptance. It’s impossible to control everything, and therefore impossible for things to always go as planned. So take a breath and instead of mourning what could have been, accept it for what it is and stay the course.

THE SCIENCE

The healing power of shoganai is very much akin to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ATC), especially when it comes to the annoying need to get things perfect, just so, all the time. If this sounds like you, you might be dealing with clinical perfectionism, the rigid pursuit of high standards, but in a way that actually interferes with the ability to function on a day-to-day basis. Perfectionism is rooted in fear, fear that you aren’t good enough. So you cope by trung to control everything. Exhuasted yet? I am just thinking about it. Acceptance training (through ATC) is a proven way to reduce emotional burden when things go wrong.

New research attempted to find which areas of the brain were activated most in the pursuit of perfectionism, and how ACT might help reduce this activity in order to decrease cognitive burden. The crux of the study looked at different parts of the prefrontal cortex, but so far the data is not conclusive enough to pinpoint exactly where perfectionism occurs, and therefore what part of the brain ATC targets. All they do know is that it works.

TAKE HOME

It is what it is, be at peace that sometimes things can’t be helped… in other words, there is no point complaining about a situation that you can’t control. And in fact, more than that, acceptance will make you feel better much sooner than the alternative of going down a negative path, even if we don’t know where in the brain this all happens.

No shame, no guilt, just more good days,

-Nicole