The Magic of the Meltdown

(read time: 2 min)

I had a meltdown last Monday. I was torn apart emotionally by an extended depressive episode, sitting at the OB/GYN in those stupid stirrups, and wishing ill on the man who invented the speculum. The physical pain of first removing the old, and then putting in a new IUD triggered the trauma of my sexual abuse as a kid.

In short, I was done for. On came the ugly. Sobbing. Undone. Embarrassed. But then, something magical happened. I started feeling better.

YOUR BOOST

The next time you need to let it out, don’t fight it. Ball, sob, grab a wad of tissues, let a loved one hold you. No other living creatures cry emotional tears. Consider it an evolutionary gift of being human.

THE SCIENCE

Crying activates the “rest and digest'' part of your nervous system, called the parasympathetic nervous system. This triggers physiological changes to bring you back to a stable state, including stress reduction and mood enhancement.

Crying also has a prosocial function. It evolved as a way to communicate that you are in need of care. In fact, all animals make some sort of sound in order to get the attention and presence of their caregiver. These sounds in humans, plus our unique visible tears, have been shown to increase empathy, bonding and decrease interpersonal aggression. In short, it is healing and builds trust.

So why don’t you let yourself cry? Sadly (no pun intended), many cultures associate crying with weakness and incompetence. Ugh.

The real truth? Science has shown that holding back tears heightens and prolongs the stress response, making it worse for you and the people around you when you do so. There's nothing strong about that.

TAKE HOME

Not only does it feel good to have a good cry, it reduces your stress response, stabilizes your mood, and can help build trust in your relationships.

No shame, no guilt, just more good days,

Nicole